If you’ve ever watched your preschooler rush headfirst into an activity, interrupt before you finish your sentence, or grab a toy without waiting their turn, you’ve seen the natural speed of early childhood in action. At ages three to six, many children seem to move faster than they can think. This often isn’t a sign of defiance or “bad behaviour” – it is a normal stage of development.
But learning to pause and reflect, even just for a moment, is a powerful skill. Children who practise slowing down are better able to solve problems, manage frustration, and build stronger relationships with peers. And while it may not happen overnight, there are effective ways to help your children practise this important skill.
Every preschooler has moments of rushing ahead, but some common patterns show when their developing self-control is being tested:
These behaviours are natural, but when repeated, they can make daily life stressful – both for you and your child. Recognising these signs is the first step toward gently guiding children toward a slower, more reflective pace.
Why do preschoolers seem to act before they think? The answer lies in brain development.
At this age, a set of mental abilities called executive functions is still developing. These include:
All of these skills depend on the prefrontal cortex, a part of the brain that matures slowly and continues developing well into adolescence. Because of this, preschoolers’ natural impulses often override their ability to pause and reflect.
Attention span is also limited at this age – often just a few minutes per year of age. That means a four-year-old may focus anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes before attention naturally drifts. Acting quickly is, in many ways, a byproduct of this developmental stage.
The good news is that these abilities are highly trainable. Just as children build muscles by running and climbing, they build self-control and focus through everyday routines, guided play, and age-appropriate challenges.
Helping preschoolers practise slowing down has ripple effects across many areas of development:
Supporting a preschooler in learning to slow down doesn’t mean forcing them to be calm all the time. Instead, it is about weaving small habits into daily life that give children chances to practise reflection and self-control in a natural way.
Model the pause
Children learn best by watching adults. If you take a deep breath before answering a question or show that you’re thinking for a moment before making a decision, your child sees that pausing is part of how people solve problems. A simple comment like “Let me think about that for a second” makes the invisible process of reflection visible.
Build “wait time” into routines
Everyday situations offer practise: waiting for the green light before crossing, counting down from three before starting a race, or singing a short rhyme before serving food. These tiny rituals help children experience that waiting can be predictable – and fun!
Praise thoughtful effort, not just speed
It is tempting to cheer when a child finishes a puzzle quickly, but pointing out how they worked (e.g., “You took your time to check the pieces, and that’s why it fits!”) reinforces the value of slowing down. This shifts the focus from being fast to being careful and effective.
Chunk tasks into steps
Long instructions can overwhelm preschoolers and trigger impulsive action. Breaking things down – “First put your shoes on, then we’ll get your jacket, then we’ll go outside” – helps children learn to pace themselves.
Play with self-control
Simple games like “Simon Says” or “Red Light, Green Light” naturally teach inhibition: sometimes you move, sometimes you don’t. Because they are playful, children practise pausing without it feeling like a lesson.
Slowing down helps preschoolers with learning, social skills, and emotional regulation. Games can be a particularly effective way to practise this skill, because they offer built-in pauses, clear rules, and lots of motivation – without the pressure of “getting it right” in everyday life. Importantly, well-designed games manage to challenge children without frustration, making reflection fun to strengthen inhibition, attention, and problem-solving skills.
One of the biggest challenges for preschoolers is learning to pause before reacting. Bazar Bizarre – Junior (3+) is a playful way to practise exactly that. In every round, children must first interrupt their impulse to grab immediately, then think through what the right move is, and finally resist distractions from the colourful figure around them.
These steps mirror the self-control skills we want children to develop in everyday life:
Because the rounds are short, errors don’t feel heavy – children laugh, reset, and try again. This means the game pushes them to practise slowing down without creating frustration, making success through slowing down both visible and motivating.
In Pippo (4+), children have to spot which farm animal is missing from a set of cards. To succeed, they can’t just act on first impressions – they must carefully compare details and keep track of what they’ve already seen before deciding. In other words, they practise slowing their eyes and mind down enough to notice what’s not there.
This ability to hold back and check carefully is exactly what helps with slowing down in everyday life – whether it’s making sure both shoes are packed for preschool or noticing which ingredient is missing when helping set a table. Because the pace is gentle and every round has a clear answer, children experience how rewarding it feels to be thorough, without the stress of making “big mistakes”.
Halli Galli – Junior (4+): In this classic, children ring a bell when they spot two identical clowns with the same expression. The bell makes it exciting and fast, but success depends on resisting the urge to ring too soon. Children practise waiting for the right conditions, holding back impulses, filtering out distracting colours and faces, and then acting decisively. Mistakes turn into funny learning moments, rather than big frustrations. If a child rings too soon, it simply adds to the laughter, and they can try again right away. This keeps motivation high while showing that slowing down just a little goes a long way.
